The Three Bean's

So Proud of Myself!!!

2010-06-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

Another home project done. I was sitting here thinking "Man the carpet from Danica is going to sit in my poor garage forever and never get put downstairs." Wow was I wrong!!!! Mark took most of the stuff out of the bedroom area during the week before he went to bed in the morning. I figured since everything was out of there, it was a perfect time to paint. It looks so much better now! The walls don't look like they have years and years of gross on them. It also makes it brighter down in that area. The carpet helps too. The other stuff was this drab, dirty looking grey. I know it is a weird color..... and I wouldn't really want it in a main part of my house, but the maroon looks good! So now I will not be totally embarrassed when Marci comes because it doesn't look like complete crud! Just partially. :)

I know it doesn't look like much, but well it looks sooooo much better than it did. I really should have taken pictures of it before painting it. I was just so grossed out by the water from cleaning the walls that I didn't think of it. :) I love it when home projects get done without a fuss. And when it doesn't take 4 years to start and finish it. Those are the best kind. Now I need to find a color for my craft area and paint that. Boy that isn't going to be fun! There is so much crap piled up in that corner it is sick. Anyone want to come over and go through it and tell Mark to throw most of it away? That would be super helpful!

Good things will come to those......

2009-11-24T17:57:00.001-08:00

So I have realized that good things will come to those who don't have to many huge mental breakdowns. :)
So most know that this year has been a struggle for Mark and I. His bonuses have been WAY smaller than normal. As most also know, those make up half of his income. So having those small seriously effects how we do during the year. Well after his second bonus this year, which was half of a normal one, before taxes...I started trying to find a job.....Hasn't done me a darned bit of good. I have applied for about 10 jobs on average a day since August, and it has gotten me 3 interviews. Pitiful. That has been soooooo stressful! So a couple weeks ago we decided that in order to servive until next bonus which is in Feb, we had to take out a loan on his 401K. Not ideal in the slightest.... but had no choice. So that sucked. Than before the paperwork could go through on the loan Mark totalled his car. Really....horrible horrible horrible. So I upped the amount for the loan to the max we could take out. Now figuring we wouldn't get more than a couple hundred dollars for his car, since it is almost 20 years old, and a total stripped down model, we weren't counting on that helping us get another car.
Now inbetween July (which was his last bonus) and now, I have had a few mental breaks because of stress. Really who can blame me. I cry a lot because of no one wanting to hire me.... not being able to get pregnant.... the list goes on.
On Saturday the check from the 401K loan came. I was happy about that.... sad that it was mostly spend on bills. Happy those bills were going to be paid though. Put that in the bank on Monday. Monday night Mark calls me from work. Tells me he has good news that he just found out. Ok so you all got Mark gets 2 bonuses a year and than every other year they get a third called the Windfall cash bonus. Of course this is not the year for that.... that would have been to helpful! So he calls, tells me he has good news. Said that the main office sent an email saying that because the bonuses were so bad this year they decided to do the findfall cash bonus every year instead of every other year, and that it will start tomorrow. Me being totally tired, and dense, don't understand this. So I ask, "what do you mean starting tomorrow?" He laughs at me and says, they will be putting it into the bank in the morning. Makes me happy. But I don't expect much either. Can't get excited when I have seen the other bonuses. He tells me not to expect more than a couple thousand. I checked this morning.... it was a bit more than we had crossed our fingers for. So I am pretty happy about that. Than this morning, I check my email and see that there is one from USAA concerning our claim. So I read it, and just about bulged my eyes out. It was a run down on the estimate of the car. So we rebuilt the engine a couple years ago now, have put about 36 thousand miles on it since. Almost to the day a month before, we put brand new tires on it, and did a total brake job. Sucks to have put $400 into it and have it totalled. Well the rebuild cost us about $800. Not such a big deal, since we got a lot of use from it. We are getting almsot everything back. The only reason we aren't is because of the $250 deductible. I was floored that we would get almost $1,100 for a 20 year old, stripped down, barebones model. But happy!
So I figured either, A) Good things come to those who don't have mental breakdowns and go insane from stress get good things or B) Good things come to those who have little mental breakdowns from the stress but don't go insane from it. I can't figure out which. :) Maybe now I can get pregnant. HA, wouldn't that be something. Not getting hopes up for that though.
So that is my story. Man am I tremendously greatful. Now I get to go car shopping tomorrow. Not so much looking forward to that one.

Can we say I'm REALLY BAD!!!

2009-06-12T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well I guess we have all figured out that taking the time, and remembering to blog, is not my strong suit!!!!! I'm happy anymore that I can remember there is a computer in the house let alone how to use it!

There are babies popping up all around me! My neighbor had hers about a month ago (a boy). One of my sisters had hers a couple weeks ago (a boy). My oldest sister is due soon... and guess what A boy. My sister in law is pregnant, my husbands bestfriends wifes daughter is pregnant. HA say that one three times fast. There were two others too, but I can't think of them at the moment. So what I would like to know, WHEN IS IT MY TURN????? Now don't get me wrong. It isn't that I hate people getting pregnant just because I am having a hard time. I am very happy for everyone who is pregnant. I am most happy for Carlene right now, because she understood what it was like getting frustrated because of no results.

So I have started a new project... yeah I know like I don't have enough. I was looking around the house and decided, it was more than time to paint the trim and the doors. Why you might ask? Because they are GROSS! Not only are they a dirty tan color, they just haven't been taken care of. So of course because it is something I wanted to do it is going to be a complete pain in the butt. Now I can't take off trim, because it is on there so well and tight, that taking it off destroys it. So I have to do all the trim in the house. I do get to take off the doors, and the cupboard doors and drawers and sand those outside. So that is good. To make matters worse, the last time they were painted, and I am pretty sure all the times they were painted, the paint was oil based Gloss. So I have to sand down the the last paint level, and ruff it up enough to where it isn't glossy anymore, in order to paint it and actually have it stick. Because let me tell you, NOTHING likes to stick to oil based gloss paint!!!!!! So be happy for me. I just got done painting the hallway cupboard door the other day. Now I am just waiting for it to completely dry and not be sticky before I can put it back on. Whomever painted last also decided A) not to even bother taking off the doors to paint and B) that they were just going to just not let the hinges get in the way and do a really bad paint job over them. Now the bad thing about that. They are SOLID BRASS. Not the new brass, which is lighter in color, and not solid. This stuff is the real thing! And they just paint over it!!!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? I also can't do some of the doors until after summer. There would be no point in doing them with Jacob here, because they would just get ruined, or destroyed out of anger.

So that is my big honken plans. Aren't they so exciting. It is pretty sad that the biggest thing I am looking forward to is sanding, painting, and a new Rice cooker/ Food steamer. What a thrill huh?

I am not at all looking forward to summer. Jacob is of course getting worse. He now has Vandalism on his school record. His teacher next year is going to hate him before he even get in there. Tammy (the ex, and mother) finally signed him up to be placed in a special ed class next year. We will see how that goes. Mark said, that if things keep going like they have been that he is going to do everything in his power to get her to fork him over so he can actually get the help he needs and the discipline. Not looking forward to that either. But what can one do. I am so stressed out by that kid. Last weekend I was told by him that I am the most evil person, and that the world would be better off if I would just die! This is what I get thrown at me EVERYDAY by him.

Anyway, I gotta run. Gotta gather tools together for dad coming over tomorrow and all that fun stuff. Than I gotta start sanding the door I took off last night. WOOHOO.

Another year

2009-01-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can't believe it is another year, and the first month is half way over. Where is the time going? I got horrible at making entry's here, not a surprise.

Mark and I have done some stuff to the house. We put in a new front door and door to the alley. The new front door is sooooo cool. It has a square window on top. He wants to paint it red again. It is so much lighter than the old one. Which was the original 1941 door. We got that sucker out and just about crushed me. I couldn't believe how heavy it was. It shouldn't have surprised me after taking the original garage door off. That was horrible. The new door doesn't slam like the old one. Which is great when you have children who don't know how to close a door gently.

Mark made me some pedestals for my washer and dryer. So instead of spending $200 dollars we spent less than $50 for all the wood and screws. It is so much nicer not to have to kneel down to move my laundry.

Christmas was a disaster! The weather was horrible! The child, we won't even go there! Mark fell on Christmas day and landed on his back on the porch steps outside. The very next morning I did the same thing. I realized it was happening so I tucked myself in so I wouldn't hit my back. I just bounced down the stairs on my bum. Still have some of the bruise left. The bone is still pretty bruised. It is amazing how long it takes for a bruised bone to heal. Needless to say, I have had it with winter and don't want anymore snow, ice, freezing rain, or anything like that. I got real tired of not being able to get out of Salem. The I-5 highway was just a mess and they didn't do anything about it until Christmas day. Thanks a lot!!! We got around Salem fine for the most part, but it was rough driving and wasn't very fun.

I made a turkey dinner 2 weeks ago. I got a turkey at Thanksgiving time to save for later. So we invited Marks best friend and wife over. That will be the last time I ever let Mark pick out a turkey. I ended up with a 26 pound bird! No only does it barely fit in the oven, you can't move it after it is cooked. So I put it in the oven, and seared the skin. Mark has this thing about having to cook them upside down. So after the half hour searing, I took it out and we flipped it over. Than put it back in to cook. So when it was done, we tried turning it back over to cut, and it just fell apart. It also take forever to thaw out! The other disaster of that day was the "stuffing". On Saturday, the day before the dinner, I took out the recipes that I would be needing so I didn't have to scrounge them up Sunday morning. I looked at all the recipes to make sure that I had everything for them. I was good to go. So half way through the turkey, I start making stuff. I get the potatoes going, and get the stuffing made and cooking. All that good stuff. So when my timer goes off for the "stuffing", I open the lid of my electric oven and look at it. I was so perplexed! I asked Mark what I had done wrong, and why it didn't look like my mothers, not even the same color. So he's asking if my mother stirs it up or anything while it is cooking. Which heck if I knew. Oh so low and behold, I didn't make stuffing, I had made cornbread!!!!! How in the world after looking at that recipe all day, and the day before, and reading the ingredients, which why would you put cornmeal into stuffing, did I end up making cornbread instead? I can't even begin to know why. I don't have a clue. It was soooo embarrassing though. I couldn't believe I had done that. What a geek.

Coming upon the end

2008-08-11T18:15:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while. I haven't had good things to say so I decided saying nothing was better. This summer has been real freaken crappy! As bad as it sounds to me, I really cannot wait until summer is over and kids go back to school. This summer has taught me that my struggles are going to be here the rest of my life. No matter if I get help or not, I am going to be struggling the rest of my days. That is a horribly depressing thought! I am tired of inner termoil. I am tired of fighting not to do what will temperarily help me.

I bought a new gun a few weeks ago. It is a Glock 27, most of you won't really care but I love it. Brandon was nice enough to take me to the range on Saturday so I could test it out. I love it so much more than my Smith and wesson. It doesn't hurt to use it which is good. The smith and wesson is just painful to shoot after ten rounds.

I finally finished working on dads car. Now it doesn't make any horrible noises and doesn't sound like it is going to fall apart while driving it. I am still healing from the last time though. I will have some nice scares from it :) Changing two axles, two wheel bearings and breaks is a mighty big task. But it was well worth it. I am glad he is happy with the work.

Tired and worn out

2008-06-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

All the joys of life have left me ragged and worn. Sometimes I wonder why I make an effort with anything when it just gets over looked or completely ignored. Non the less, I can't stop myself from making the effort. It is stressful, hurtful and quite frankly rather depressing. Maybe that is why for the last two weeks I have been on edge and very depressed. A depressed that doesn't seem to be going away. At a moments notice I just want to break down and cry. One of those good cries where you think it is going to make you feel so much better, where you cry till you can't anymore, but it doesn't work. I just cry and all it does is make my nose stuffy, eyes puffy and gives me a headache. I wonder if the Clomid I am taking to try to get pregnant is making my anti-depressants not work and making it harder to deal with life in general. I do believe I need a shrink, along with others that won't do it, I just need to find out if my insurance will cover it. If not I guess I am pretty much left with crying the cry that doesn't make me feel better and working it out myself. Since the working it out myself doesn't seem to be working I guess I will just try to wait for a cry that will make me feel better. I really do not like feeling this way. I really don't like feeling the way some of the things others do to me makes me feel. What is a girl to do? Not much of anything.

Since I didn't get a Happy Aniversary, much less anything else, nor a Happy Mothers day, again let alone anything else, I decided for my birthday I was going to spoil myself. I bought a Nintendo DS. I got those Brain Age games. Oh man they are so fun. The second one is so much harder than the first, but it is very challenging and make you really work your brain. I also got My French coach. Great for refreshing on french. Has fun games and lessons on it. Got the old style (classic) Super Mario Brothers. Man I love that game. And Donkey Kong. I am going to have to make mom do the brain age game. I think she would like it and hate it all at the same time. Oh yeah I also bought myself a new bookshelf. Now I have four that form a wall for the basement room :) Great way to do it huh!!! Now I just have to yet again rearrange all my books to satisfy my OCD!!! Never going to work I tell you, never. A while ago I got one of those embossers for books with this book belongs to the library of blah blah blah. I have done about half of my books now I just need to do the rest and put them all in order and all that fun stuff. I guess I should start on that tomorrow before it really bugs me more. If that is at all possible.

Pictures from trip

2008-05-15T18:03:00.000-07:00

This is Bruce the Moose, isn't he just so cute!

This is a sign in Downtown Anchorage, I thought it was cool it has a ton of different places on it and tells you how far away and which direction they are in. This is just one side of it.

This is a picture of the mountains off the back of the boat we were on for our cruise. Beautiful!

This sign just killed me... well all these signs. They are everywhere! I can just see someone looking at the mountains while they are driving along and seeing an avalanche and having to stop because it is so cool and they want to watch it. So I thought it was funny that they have to put up signs for people not to do it. From what I heard, it doesn't make them any less stupid and they still stop. There are a few deaths a year because of it.

Marci, Elijah (Marci's son) and I before boarding our pretty boat to go on the cruise.

Ft. Richardson and Elmendorf Air Force Base from up on Artic Valley. Isn't it great!

Elijah loved that killer whale. He really wanted to see one on our cruise.

This is one of two Bald Eagles that the Air Force base has taken in. This one doesn't have one of it's wings. They found them both on base and took them in. I don't remember what is wrong with the other one.

My trip

2008-05-15T17:31:00.000-07:00

Well as good as it is to be home, I had a GREAT time in Alaska. It is so amazingly beautiful there. Mountains EVERYWHERE! Not the distant mountains we have here, but close ones. Go figure that the day I get there, my little monthly friend starts. It was suppose to yet, so I assume it had something to do with flying. The man I sat next to on the way there was so great. He was telling me what I should go see, and what to do if I am chased by a moose. He was just hysterical. Really made the 4 hours go by much quicker. Oh and just so you know if you are ever being chased by a moose, run in circles or around a tree because they can't turn real well or quickly and they will eventually get tired of you and leave. Helpful advice.

We went on a cruise out of Seward. That is about 2 1/2 hours away from Anchorage. It was soooo great. We saw Sea lions, and Otters, tons and tons of Bald eagles, Mountain Goats man are they crazy, they were going up a cliff that was almost straight up and down. We saw porpoises, couldn't get a picture of them because those little buggers are so fast. Darn cute though. They love to play.

We spent tons of time on base. Boy was I soooo not going to argue with that one. :) Anyone who knows me knows I have a huge weakness for military uniforms. It was great, one of the days we were on base, we missed our turn and going by the runway, and jets were landing. Now there are signs telling you to slow down and stop when you see a plane coming because they get VERY close. Here is a picture to show how close they get to the road.

We went to hockey games. Those were great. I am amazed that I didn't lose my voice after those. We drove up Artic Valley. You can see both the Air force and Army base and the whole town of Anchorage from up there. It was amazing. Took her son to ice skating practices. Those were great. All these little kids on ice skates in full hockey get ups. It was so darned adorable. We went to the zoo. Oh the polar bears seemed so happy. It was so much different from the one in Portland. There is no paved sidewalks.... there tons of bridges going over water. It was really pretty. Of course one of the main reasons I went there, her ultrasound appointment. It's another boy. She is so very happy about that. I don't think she would know what to do with a girl. :) Why is it always people that already have boys don't know what to do if they had a girl? Always curious about that. She is hoping I can go back up there after her baby is born. As much as I would love to, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will be pregnant by than and wont be able to go. Not cause I don't want to just because I wanna get pregnant darn it all. Oh yeah and we went to the Reindeer farm where I got to see oh soooo cute little baby Caribou and got to feed Bruce the Moose. He was sooo cute.

Anchorage

2008-05-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I am here in Anchorage, Alaska. It is so amazingly beautiful! There are mountains everywhere!!!!! We went on a cruise yesterday. It was awesome. Poor Marci got soooo sick. She gets sea sick as it is, just not usually bad enough to throw up, but she did yesterday. Probably because she is pregnant. We have done lots of shopping. She has shown me some interesting places. We have been to base a whole bunch of times. Went shopping there. They have a px on the air force base. The Air force and Army bases are right next to each other. We have been having tons of fun. I am oh so extremely homesick. I have never in my life been homesick before. It really sucks. This was always Danica's territory. Whenever I went somewhere it was always hard for me to go back home because I loved seeing new places. I almost have sympathy for Danica, except she ruined some of my summers so I don't feel so bad for her :) Just Kidding. I have a new found understanding for how she felts/feels. I shall no longer make fun of her for it.... or at least try too.
So I have 4 more days of my vacation, and an extra suitcase coming home with me. It is going to be sucky having to unpack 3 suitcases when I get home. Silly me packed to much stuff when I left so I didn't really have much room to pack extra stuff in them. So Marci had a few odd suitcases she has been meaning to get rid of, so she gave one to mee. Sad but true.
Ok well gotta run. more when i get home

So very proud of myself

2008-04-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

I'm a proud puppy with myself right now. :) Let me tell you why. The beginning of the week, I finally got it in my head that I really need to hem up my pants. You know when your pants hang past your toes it isn't a good thing. That and holding them up with saftey pins is kind of a fashion no no. Well they turned out totally even! I was so happy. Than Thursday I decided I needed new clothes to go to Alaska. So I went to JcPenny. Well we! Everyone knows that Mark has better taste in clothes than I do. I didn't even know it but they were having a great sale. Buy 1 and get the second for 88 cents!!!!!! HELLO! So I walked out with 3 pairs of pants and 3 shirts. I saved almost as much as I spent. I spent just barely over 100 dollars and saved $98! WOW! That made me super proud of myself too. So after we got home from some other running around, I decided after washing the new clothes that I needed to hem the new pants and the rest of mine, minus the one pair that mom already did for me. THANK YOU MOMMY! I did 5, yes 5, pairs of pants yesterday. All of them were even and just the length I wanted them. I tell you hemming is hard work. So now all my pants actually fit and don't drag on the ground or aren't being held up off the ground by saftey pins. Wooohooo ME!
So I am getting oh so excited to go to Alaska. I leave in 1 week and 2 days. Even though I hate flying in big planes... which I am trying to not think about. I have half of my stuff packed already hehehehe I just couldn't help it. I am still trying to decide what shoes to take. Mark keeps laughing at me for how much I plan on packing. He is a total guy packer... where as I am a total girl packer. I am going to be gone 12 days, that requires a lot of stuff!
Oh my shoe delimea. So my shoes for quite some time have been in a big heaping pile on our closet floor. Just wasn't working for me. So I asked Mark if there was anyway that he could make something for them. But everything we thought of just wasn't going to work because I had A) way to many shoes for it and B) was just going to cost to much. So I went on line to look for shoe racks that would hold as many as I needed. There weren't many choices! There were only like 2 stand up racks that hold 50 and than over the door racks or ones that you put on your hanger rod in the closet. Don't like either of those ones. So I looked at the container stores website. BOOM, I feel in love! They have shoe boxes that are clear, plastic boxes. I just had to have them. So now all my shoes are in boxes in a nice neat stack in the closet. Mark thinks I went a little insane by labeling them with what shoes are in them. :) I have some pretty funny names for my shoes. It is just so great and organized it makes me smile when I see them instead of want to cry.
So there you go. I am just so darned happy with myself. Sometimes I amaze myself.

I'm horrible

2008-04-02T23:13:00.000-07:00

Am I just totally horrible at this or what? Ok not quiet as bad as Danica but nowhere near as great as Memory. Oh well, life goes on. So my little float box that Mark made for me, got another addition to it. He made a bottom for it to put a light in. So now it glows. I will so have to take a picture of it. It's just awesome.
I talked to a long lost friend the other day. It was so great. We haven't talked in like 8 years or so. We were on the phone for about 3 hours. During the three hours the weather just went nuts. It was sunny, than started raining. Went back to sunny than all of a sudden started hailing. Than to rain, sun, hail and snow. It was just kind of creepy. It was just again so great to catch up with Marci. I have missed her.
I bought two new pairs of shoes this last couple weeks. :) Anyone who knows me knows I have a HORRIBLE shoe fetish. I just can't help myself. I will have to put pic's of them up to because Memory wanted to see them. They are just GREAT. The sad part is I have been in so much pain from the medication I have to take before I take the fertility medication that I have been in no shape what so ever to A) want to get all cute so I can wear them and B) go anywhere but the sofa and bathroom. So hopefully soon I will be able to wear them.
Besides that my life is kind of uneventful right now. Jacob is here for Spring Break. He spent the first few days with his Grandma and Grandpa in Beaverton and came here on Tuesday. He has been SOOOOOO good! We have only had one minor meltdown that lasted only a few minutes and that was that. It is soooo nice. Tomorrow Mark is taking Jacob and Victoria to Silverfalls to hike and stuff so that I can stay home and veg. I start clomid tomorrow so it shouldn't be a pretty picture. What a great husband! So cross all those fingers, toes and eyes that this time the Clomid will work because I don't want to have to go on a higher dose again!!!!

So proud

2008-02-22T18:45:00.001-08:00

I am just so gosh darn proud of myself!!!! I finally took a picture of the box Mark made for my blown glass ball. Yes it took a while but I did it. Even got it into the computer. Now he is going to make a bottom for it so we can put a light underneath it and light it from the bottom. It will look so great.

But that isn't all. Months ago, I started putting up pictures in the hall. Ha it started with 3, and it stayed at 3 for a long time. I finally ordered pictures and got them all up. Well ok, Mark helped except for today. You know I was so darn capable of doing stuff all on my own before I got together with Mark. I could work on my own car and make stuff if I wanted to. I don't know what happened. All of a sudden he does everything. I asked him to do stuff I am totally capable of. I wonder if it is because he is just mister do it, that I just assume he will take care of it for me. Of course the same goes with him too. So today I was sitting here thinking, why am I even considering waiting till he gets home from work to put these up. That is just silly. So I got my step ladder out, and the nails, and ruler and went to work. Looks pretty darn good if you ask me. I am not done, but it is getting there. I gotta get more frames. I even had to cut holes in some of my frames before I could put them up. Silly me when out and bought some yesterday and didn't even pay attention to what I was buying. They were just stand up ones, didn't have any holes for hanging. So I open them when I get home, and rip off the stand thingy and than notice after i have done them all, ohhh there isn't a hole. So i got out my exacto knife and went to work. Darn it if it didn't work like a dream too. So I have pictures so people can see. I don't know why the picture is blue, I am going to have to play with my camera because that isn't the only one it did that too.

The horrible guilt

2008-02-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

Not to sound horrible, but I am so my mothers daughter when it comes to sympathy. I have hardly any when it comes to someone doing something they know they shouldn't be and they get hurt. Don't expect me to fawn all over you and "oh you poor baby." It just isn't going to happen. I know that sounds just horrible but it is the dead truth. When there is a cause for sympathy I have it though. Take for instance my day on Tuesday. I knew I was going to be watching Victoria, so I get up and get the house straightened up so I have less to clean when she goes. I typically leave the door unlocked so they don't have to knock and I don't have to go for the door. Well silly me went out of the house about 1/2 an hour before Susan and Victoria got here, and like I automatically do everything I come in, I locked it. So when I hear a pounding on my door (Iwas in the back of the house on the computer) I starting screaming that I will be right there and to keep their panties on. Oh silly me. Susan frantically yells that they need in right now. It was the tone of voice that did it for me. I run to the door and fling it open and there stand Victoria crying at the top of her lungs and bleeding all over the place. So we rush her in get a towel and ice on her lip. While we are doing this Susan is telling me that Victoria got out of the car and started walking towards the door while trying to take off her jacket. Well the girl isn't known for her grace! Well she takes a fall face first and because she was all tangled in her jacket she couldn't stop the fall. So we look at her lip trying to debate if we should take her into the Emergancy room. Oh it was so gross! She darn near put her teeth through her bottom lip. The inside was just narled, and the outside was split from falling on it and it is as clear as day that it is an emergancy room trip. So we call Susans work, call Victorias mom and head out. Since the hospital is less than 5 minutes from us, she curls up on my lap on the drive there. Well we get there, and we wait, and wait, and wait some more. She fortunatly fell asleep. So we take her back and the doctor looks at it sure enough she needs 4 stitches on the inside. Now at this point, I am just feeling gosh darn aweful and guilty about all this because it happened at my house. Why this should make me feel guilty I have no clue but it does. So I am darn near as truamatized as she is. Stupid me it is about to get so much worse. They numb the wound, than strap her down to one of those flat boards so she can't move her body. It takes two nurses to hold her head down and still so the doctor can stitch her. The whole time she is screaming "Get off me." and other stuff that just ripped my heart out. Afterwards, they tried to give her stickers and a cute little stuffed unicorn but she wouldn't take anything from the nurses. She was ticked! By this time I am darn near in tears because this is her first big ouchy and it happened at my house. So she is here today, her bottom lip is HUGE! You can't understand much of what she says because of it. her chin is black and blue and all mangled. It just kiss me. so there that is my tragic story of guilt.

Totally at my wits end

2008-02-04T18:15:00.000-08:00

I'm going to pop! I am completely sick of being a female! So here is my problem. As everyone knows I am on Clomid to help me get pregnant. The first month worked great. Had my little friend and everything. Well this month, I'm either late, pregnant, or the pills didn't work. Well I shouldn't be late according to my doctor since it is drug induced. So for the most part I am ruling that out but not completely. I have taken 2 pee on stick tests, and they were both negative. Now I don't know if it is because they are the totally cheap ones from the Dollar Tree, but I have known people to use those and not have a problem. The first one I took when I was pregnant was an EPT and it was no doubt prositive. So I don't know if I should wait a while and take another one. But it even says right on the box, you can take it one day after your missed period. Well it is more than one day! If the pills didn't work, I think I am just going to sit in a corner screaming. I don't want to have to go back to the doctor say, hey it didn't work you gotta give me those horrid pills to force my little friend again and start all over. This is horrible! Those pills make me so sick and crappy feeling. I am just tired of this. All I ask for is one little precious baby! That is it. Why does it have to be so freaken hard? I see all these people who A) didn't want kids in the first place but have them. B) Are horrible to their kids and yell at them all the time and have no patience with them C) people who think kids should be seen but not heard and do nothing with them. and D) people who have kids just to stay on welfare, and section 8 and all the government programs so they don't have to get off their lazy butts and get a real job and make a good example for their children. These are people who really shouldn't have had kids. Yet someone like me, who thinks they would be a good parent and love their child and do what it takes so make a great life for them have to go through all this pain staking crap just to get pregnant. IT ISN'T FAIR!!! Am I just kidding myself and I really shouldn't have a child? Would I not be a good loving parent? Is that why I can't get pregnant? Seriously how much can one person take? This is just getting rediculous.
In the good news department, we got our new couch. I love it. It does need a little breaking in because it is still a bit stiff but it looks great. I will take pictures and put them up so people can see. I got my glass blown ball. Mark is in the process of making a 3 sided glass box that will be lit underneath for it. So if it takes a tumble so how it isn't going to shatter just be a little rattled. What a great guy huh?!?! So once that is done I will put up a picture of that too. It is really cool. My prescription sunglasses should be in anyday. My regular glasses came in a couple weeks ago. Everyone said they like them. If i get in the mood I will put a pic of me with them on for you all. They are pretty!

WHAT A WEEK!

2008-01-19T23:06:00.001-08:00

Well if I was excited for 2007 to end, I am going to be jumping for joy when January ends. Holy crap what a week! Lets start off with the first one. Months ago I noticed that it was getting real hard for me to drive at night. I couldn't focus on anything, and my headaches were making me so light sensitive it made me want to pull over to the side of the road and crawl into a little ball until there were no cars left. Well last weekend (the 12th) Jacob went and got a new video game. So of course like them all we wouldn't let him play it until we did (mostly me because mark doesn't understand newer ones). So that night I put in the Harry Potter game and start playing. There is a ton of stuff you have to read. I couldn't read any of it!!! All of it was so blurry. I figured it was just the font they had used that made it all blur together. But no! Mark could read it just fine. So I finally decided to go get my eyes checked. Low and behold I am near sighted.... is that the one where you can't see far away? I can't remember... I can't see far away, so I have to get glasses. Mark is all sorts of excited and wont let me go pick them out myself because he thinks I am going to get the plain ol ones instead of the funky colorful ones like he thinks I can get away with. So Friday we went and got the glasses picked out, and got them ordered. Takes about a week she said. Marks came a little quicker than that but I think only by a day or so. I am hoping that they will be in on Thursday. It isn't like it is a hard prescription. I don't have astigmatism...however that is spelled, and they aren't really that bad. So that is done and over with and now it is just waiting for the glasses to come in and hope I don't drill a hole through my eyes to relieve the constant pain they are putting me through.
So after the glasses, I decided I just want to scope out how much new couches are. I have never in my life bought one, and nor has Mark. He has always had hand me downs, and I had Danica's hand me down that she made me promise not to try to give back to her when I was done. So we went to Ashley's Furniture. Stupid of me really. I fell in love. Now mind you. On the couch we have, it's about 10 years old, the stains will no longer come out, the cushions NEVER stay in place, the pipping on the cushions has poked through the fabric and sticking out all over the place. It is just so sad. So I fell in love with the microfiber, Sage, oh so nice couch. The back cushions are attached, but they have a zipper so you can fluff the stuffing and that stuff, along with the arms. The bottom cushions have Velcro so they don't shift around. It is just so nice. So now I can finally make it mandatory that there be no eating in the living room what so ever by anyone (MARK!) no matter what! I am so excited. I hate having to clean up the messing from eating in there, and it just isn't what we grew up with and it drive me nuts!
So there is the glasses, the sofa, and than today. Susan and I went to the beach. There is this Glass blowing business, that you can pay them and you can make your own glass float. You can't do everything yourself mind you. It was soooo fun! My float is pink and green and is going to go on our fireplace. The lady that was doing it was me was so nice. She stood there and explained what I was doing and why I was doing it, and why it is done that way. They try not to have to do stuff for you, unless it looks like you need it or your younger. It was just an awesome thing to get to do. I would recommend it for someone who has the money to spend on it and likes blown glass stuff. Well worth it. So because it has to cool in a special kiln you can't pick it up till the next day because it takes 18 hours to cool. so it is going to be shipped here. If it breaks on the way here, they will either make me a new one or I get to go back and free of charge I get to make another one. Ohhh shucks. If you want the places information just let me know. I am telling you well worth it. I will get pictures up when I get them from Susan since she was the one taking them.
So that was my adventurous week. Glad it is over tomorrow.

Last blog of the year

2007-12-31T17:33:00.000-08:00

Can we get a Hallelujah, mere hours until the year is done and over with. I have to admit, I am not sad to see it go. I am very happy that Christmas is over and done with. I find myself becoming more of a Grinch each year. If it weren't for kids, I wouldn't even bother putting a tree up. I am having tons of fun with my presants though. I got a 30 gb Zune. It is great. I also got a keyboard to play music on. LOVE IT!
Bad news for all the people that have been crossing fingers and praying for us. This month is not the month. My little friend came. So in a few more days I go back on Clomid and we start all over again. I am very happy to know that the Clomid is actually doing what it is suppose to. The whole month I have been sitting here worrying that it isn't working. Now I know. So please do keep your fingers crossed and prayers going. I greatly thank you. I am none to excited about starting this again though. The effects of it last all month, and it is greatly worse while on the medication. It really is quiet horrible. But what can you do, besides not take it and not get pregnant?
I have found a new stand up comic who is soooooo great. His name is Jeff Dunham and he is a Ventriloquist. Not only is he be best I have ever seen but he does more than I have ever seen. He has heck knows how many dolls, but he typically uses 5 in each show. I watched one of his shows the other day for the first time, and I was about 2 seconds away from peeing my pants! But a word to the wise, this is not for the faint of ears to listen to. There is quite a bit of bad words in there!

One more year almost down

2007-12-09T22:35:00.000-08:00

I am so excited. One of the last birthdays of the year is done and over. Only one more to go. I am almost done with all my Christmas shopping. I only have ONE more thing to buy. I can't believe how happy that makes me. Every time I have had to go anywhere to pick something up it makes me almost want to go into the mountains of Tibet and find a cave where no one will ever find me again. Seems much more safe that way to me! I can't believe another year is almost here. It is amazing how fast time is flying. When Mark and I first got together Jacob was 2 1/2- 3 years old, now he is eight. Growing like a weed and not far from out growing me. So painful to see. Not in a bad way either. I have come to realize one of the problems with Americans. We never slow down enough to enjoy the good things in life anymore. Everything is rushed, have to have a full schedule, have to have our kids in 50 different things so they barely have time to do their homework let alone have enough space in their heads to remember it. We feel we have so much to do when we really don't. Heaven forbid we be burdened by the very things that we gave life to. Much easier to sit them in front of a tv, with a remote in their hands playing highly inappropriate games that they shouldn't be playing let alone watching. We take everything for granted. We work more than anyone else in the world, and we value stuff over anything else. How can so much stuff make so many people seem so happy. What a load of crap. Everything we value is the total opposite of what we should be valuing. Look at drivers. Everyone on the road is either reading, talking, texting, or looking up something on their computers. They think they have to speed, cut people off, tailgate and just plan be rude. Do people not know that in a 60 mile drive, if you are going 5 miles over the speed limit you will get to your destination 3 minutes early? 3 minutes that is it. Why don't people get off their rear ends and leave 5 minutes early instead of what they do? People just think they are more important than everyone else and their for their actions are justified. No ones actions are justified because of that excuse. It is so silly. People need to stop being so self absorbed and realize that their are other people out there, doing the same as you, trying to get to work, to get to the doctor, airport, mall, whatever and everyone wants to get their in one piece along with their car in tact. If I didn't want to be around my family so darn much, I would so move somewhere small, and I mean small!!!!!! No traffic, no shopping malls, NO RUDENESS! It is no wonder so many people suffer from hyperactivity, and depression. Because the way they lead their life is depressing, why shouldn't they be depressed, and they have to be hyper to get through a day of the crap we are expected to accomplish just to impress our peers.
Well now that I am done ranting, I just wanted to say that I am so very excited that I have all but one thing on my list to buy, and that another year is almost gone and done with. That isn't as negative as it sounds either. I just couldn't find a better, happier way to put it.

Been so long

2007-11-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

I know it has been so long. I only have excuses for it, and hey to me they are great! Well to start, Jacob lost his second front tooth. So now he is front toothless. So cute. His birthday party is coming up and he is so excited about it.
I have finally started my Christmas shopping. Why I wait so long is beyond me. I could have had this done at the beginning of the year for heaven sakes. I have Mark pretty much done. Memory's is in the process, ha Mem don't you want to know? Mark is making Evan's. I think my goal for next year is to get my Christmas shopping done by June or July! It is completely nuts out there!
For all those who don't know, I got a new doctor, an obgyn. He is so nice. Here I was expecting this little Asian guy because his name is Anton. For some reason it stuck in my mind of Memory's neighbor boy Anton. Such a cutie too. Boy was I wrong. I of course had to ask my nurse if he was nice and her response was "well I have known him since before my kids were born and he delivered all my kids and my youngest is your age." Wow that was helpful. So he put me on Prometrium to force my "little friend". Not that they guys reading this really want to hear that but to darn bad. After I start my "little friend" I get to start Clomid. Now I got these prescriptions filled the day before Thanksgiving. Total mistake. It was a 4 hour wait. So of course they were just so busy I didn't want to waste the Pharmacists time explaining anything to me so figured I would just go home and read the little pamphlet they put in there. Mark of course laughed at me because I do this with any medication I take because I want to know what to expect or what can happen that is really bad. So I read it, no big deal. Basically can have pain in the abdomen, dizziness, throwing up and change of eye sight. No big deal right! WRONG! Just like the provera I took last time I had to force my "little friend" I am horribly sick, I have horrible cramps (nothing I am not us to) and I am oh so dizzy. Since starting this, I have cut myself because I got so dizzy while I was standing in the kitchen cutting something up. I have run into to many walls to count and at the moment am sporting a very nice lump on my head, and darn near fell down the stairs going to the basement. So stairs, and knives or anything sharp is totally out of the question for me to use along with driving a car. The other day it was messing with my eye sight so badly that I had to wear Mark's glasses to see anything. Now if you all know my husband he has HORRIBLE eye sight. So for me to see clearly out of his glasses is pretty bad since I have perfect vision. So after all of this I have 4 months to get pregnant or my non Asian ob Dr. will be sending me to a more specialized specialist. So cross your fingers, toes and eyes. maybe put your hair in some braids, that might help to, because that is a lot of crossing.
Last week in the Target add was a Electric Roaster for 23 dollars. Great deal so I decided to get it. Best choice I ever made. I cooked my turkey yesterday for our little get together and not only was the bird so good and juicy, but it doesn't take as long to cook as it does in the oven. I think the from start to finish which includes warm up was 2 1/2 hours for a 15 pound turkey. So next year my dear family I am so doing the turkey!

Odd stuff

2007-10-09T22:11:00.000-07:00

I have been sitting here cross stitching thinking about some odd things that I have missed. I never knew that I could miss having a mail box at the end of the sidewalk. Is that just weird? I don't like these medal boxes that have half the neighborhoods mail boxes in them. Granted we don't have that here, we have the nice convenience of having our mail on our living room floor. None the less I really miss walking out to the mailbox. Strange! I doubt mom and dad miss having to replace the darn things though. I can't even remember how many times it got ripped off or bashed in. Sad that our society has come to that and much worse now. Brandon might remember this the most, I remember taking a round tin and putting a whole bunch of stuff in it, stuff I can't even remember anymore and we buried it in our back yard. I don't even remember how long it was before we dug it back up again but I remember we couldn't get it open because it had rusted shut. Lets see what else. Oh going in the Killians wagon to their house in Yucipa. They had that wagon that you sad backwards so you can see out the bad. Waving to people and than going down and up that huge hill that would make your stomach float. Mrs. Killian use to gain so much speed before that hill just to make it a little more fun for us. Man I miss them! We use to have to much fun. Their dog us to have that extremely hard tail that we would throw snow balls at because it was like a baseball bat. Remembering all this stuff just makes me so sad that I don't get to spend more time with my niece and nephews. I guess that is partly my fault. I feel like I miss out on so much of their lives. It give my heart and ache to have to see them leave or when I have to leave them after seeing them.
Anyway before I cry more, we finally figured out what is wrong with my brakes. There is a little thingy in the brake lines on the back brakes that makes it so the back brakes don't lock up with hard braking. Well both of them are leaking. Go figure. So I have to order those tomorrow since I was on the phone with Maytag for about 2 hours today and it irritated me to no end, I totally forgot to order them today. So my car should be up and running in a few weeks hopefully!
I picked up color samples for the color of the kitchen and bathroom. I for some reason have an itch to have a purple room. No the kitchen is not going to be purple. The kitchen is going to be yellow, and the bathroom is going to be purple. I just can't figure out what shade of either one I want. I couldn't believe how many different shades there were in each color. Makes the decision all that much harder. Where have the days gone when it was easy to make a decision on this kind of thing. Why do there have to be so many choices. Oh well. So what do you guys think. Should I go with a darker purple, medium purple or a light purple for the bathroom? And what shade for the kitchen? Of course the kitchen will not be done until it is remodeled, and that is depending on if we get the home equity loan that we applied for, which we should be hearing back about any day now.

SOOOOOO COOL!

2007-09-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

Oh this is to exciting for me. When Jacob lost his first tooth he was with us. I had talked him into letting me tie something around his tooth to tie it to a door knob to yank it out. I know what some of you guys are thinking. Oh dear she is just like grandpa. YEP! So we got the string tied around the tooth and he just gave it 3 little light tugs to make sure it wasn't going to hurt and it popped out by itself. Totally bummed me out because I wanted to warp someone like Grandpa had warped me. Well this last weekend that he was here one of his front teeth was really really loose. So I talked him into just letting me wiggle it and I grabbed a hold of it and just yanked it out. It was SOOOO EXCITING! So now our little guy has one front tooth gone and the other is loose as well. So I am hoping that this next weekend that he is here it will be loose enough to yank out again.

Well we got the new window in. We started with the bathroom window just so we would know how hard it would be and all that good stuff. It was pretty darn easy! So it is in and done. That is also so exciting. Now we just have to do the rest of them. Not so exciting to do them all but what are you going to do?

Finally finished

2007-09-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

We are finally done. The fireplace that we have been working on for ever is complete. I can't tell you how excited I was. Now our living room doesn't look like is half finished. It is so great.

Mark is very excited, he is building a boat. He has been working on it most chances he can get inbetween my car and a few other things. Sunday while he was working on it I was at the back of the house working on window sills. He comes over and tells me that I need to come look in the garage. He is all upset and I can't even imagine what happened. I thought he totally goofed up on something he was cutting for the boat, because he was at the time using the table saw. So I go in there and I'm looking around not seeing anything. Till he points it out. On the back wall of the garage is a long piece of wood sticking out of the wall. I was shocked and outrageously thankful that he didn't get hurt. I guess when he was cutting a piece of wood, he had a throwback. Basically the blade catches hold of what you are cutting and sends it shooting backward. Now to give you an idea of how dangerous this is and how fast it goes, this piece of wood went through 2 sheets of sheetrock and two layers of plaster. Anyone how has tried to put something into a wall made out of plaster knows it is hard stuff. It finally stoped on the outside of our bedroom wall. Didn't make it through to our bedroom. Now the silly man isn't upset at the thought that he could have gotten hurt, or about having to patch up the wall. Oh no, he is upset because the piece of wood went through his Volkswagen picture. Of all things to be upset about he is upset that it went through a picture. I took pictures so you will see. Talk about scary though.

Camping weekend

2007-09-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

So my boys went camping this weekend. Mark drove all the way up to Aberdeen, Washington to pick Jacob up from school. Boy was he excited. They went down to the Nehalem River for the camping. Jacob caught his first keeper fish. A rainbow trout. He of course wanted to keep it and take it home for it to be a pet! Cute huh? Mark had to explain to him the cycle of life and how he either had to throw it back or eat it. So he decided he wanted to eat it.... but he didn't like it. Can't blame him as I don't like trout either. So Mark eat most of it and threw the rest with the guts back into the river. I guess when Mark was gutting it Jacob went kind of white and said that was gross enough to make him throw up. But he didn't! I am glad they had a good time.
I got a nice quiet weekend, mostly. I got the cleaver idea that I wanted bangs.... so I cut me some bangs. WOOHOO, no more curly Q's as Mark likes to call them. Of course I went to go straighten them out with the big fat curling iron Danica gave me years ago and what do I do? BURN myself!!! Now I have this huge burn mark on my forehead. Of course that was the first thing Mark noticed when he got home after dropping Jacob off, was the burn not the bangs. I had to tell him that I had them before he even realized it. What a goof.
Tomorrow granted that I can get myself in gear I get the pleasure of going down to the DMV to get new tags, and to change my name on my title. OOOPS Yes I still have yet to do that even though it has been over a year since I changed my name. What can I say. I just hope they don't realize it!
Today I finally finished our mantel. Now today was the 3rd time I have had to sand this thing down! The first was because Mark didn't sand it enough so there was still paint in the grain. So I had to sand the whole thing. Then he fills in the wholes for the nails with wood filler stuff that is stainable. Well you aren't suppose to get it on the surface of the wood. He didn't read that. So where it soaked into the surface it left this big light spot when he stained it again. So yet again I have to sand it. This time it was only the sides and the bottom as there are no nails in the top. So I did that today. STUPID! It was so hot here I was sweating like a pig, and what do you get when you are sticky from sweating and you have sawdust flying everywhere? You get a person who looks like they were tared and than had sawdust dumped on them. It was gross. None the less I got it done, and I even stained it so it would be ready to put the poly coat over it in a few days. So oh my goodness after nearly 2 years of having the fireplace ripped apart and sitting there waiting to get done... it is almost there!!!!! So memory when you say that it takes Michael so long to do projects after starting them.... well there you go you aren't the only one that deals with that kind of thing. Most of our projects take forever. Heck we haven't even finished the patio yet... and that was 3 1/2 years ago. So sad. But I feel better now that it is almost done and that I won't have to worry about it anymore. Than we are going to have to have family dinner over here so everyone can see it since mostly nobody has.

Little bit of advice

2007-09-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

My advice for the day is: Make sure you know what you are getting into. :) So we had people from Penguin windows come out and give a great spiel. We really liked their windows so we figured we would get them. Fortunately you have 3 business days to back out of the deal. Which of course we had to do because Mark realized that he didn't want to pay that much for them and that we can order ones almost as good and do it ourselves. That I am not much looking forward to! So we figured out, before Penguin windows came along, that we were going to take out a home equity loan so we can do the windows, siding, and the kitchen. Have it all done and not have to worry about it. Than we had the spiel with Penguin windows. Now mind you we were going to take out about 10 grand for all this. Well we wouldn't have been able to do anything but the windows if we did this because it was WELL over 10 grand. So now we are back to doing everything and doing it ourselves. Still not looking forward to that, but it would be nice to have everything done instead of paying for the next 10 years for windows. So make sure you look at different options before you make up your mind. It is never a bad idea to take the time out to compare to ALL of the competition.
The start of my school year has been very peaceful. I have finally gotten back to my cross stitching. I haven't worked on that in months. Feels good to get to it. All is well with us, both of us are doing good. Can't complain at the moment.

Meet thy doom

2007-08-25T22:24:00.001-07:00

Let me tell you, today was the most hideous way to spend our last full day with Jacob. It was the most awful thing to experience. I spent most of the day crying because of it, so of course I have a gigantic headache. I just don't know what to do anymore. I couldn't believe the horrible stuff that came out of that kids mouth. I was totally appalled and horrified. This kid needs some serious help and everyone around him ignores that. Every time I bring it up everyone gets all defensive and cranky so that is the end of that topic. I don't know how to go about this anymore.
Last Friday we took the kids to a place called Discovery Village. It is so fun! It is a little science museum place. I think the kids would really like it. They took 4 old houses in Salem and fixed them up and put the displays in the houses. There is also a HUGE play structure. This thing is so massive! I think people should bring their kids here and let me take them there.
Mark's step mom Carol has cervical cancer. It thankfully is only in the first stage so they caught it wayyyyyyy early. She is going in on Tuesday to have it all taken out. His dad is a hole other story. That poor man. They are pretty sure that his walking and speech has something to do with a toxin. So they have done blood work, mri's all sorts of things and they can't find anything. The other day they did a spinal tap to check the fluid because there are some toxin's that aren't detected in anything but the spinal fluid. It just breaks my heart to see him going through this. He is on muscle relaxers that do little to nothing but he can barley walk without them. So we are all hoping that they find something this time and that it can be taken care of before anything gets worse. Also that everything is reversible.
Well we are taking Jacob back tomorrow for the school year. It so does not seem like it has been a whole summer yet. I just can't believe it. Shocking. So I got to get in bed and get some sleep because we have to leave early in the morning to drop him off and all that fun stuff.

pictures from vacation

2007-08-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I got the pictures on the computer. Now because there are so many I of course can't put them all on, but there are a lot of them that I would like to share. So over the next few days I will add them so they aren't all at once.

The White Bangel tiger was just so cute scratching his log, made me think of my kitty. The one next to the tiger is a Apricot Skunk. Very rare I guess. Popular belief is that they are albino, not so. You can actually see their white strip. She was such a sweetheart. Than there is my pretty little panther. He was just so cute. Kind of look freaky in that picture though. Jacob and I got to pet the 18 month old Black Bear. He was pretty freaked out about it. I guess there is only 2 month in a year were they can have people pet the bears without them trying to eat people, wasn't that time of year so they had to distract her with a bottle. One of my favorite was this one with Jacob and the female Lion. She is just looking at him like he would be a great before dinner snack. Quiet funny.

home, home on the range

2007-08-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

Well the rest of our vacation went pretty well. I got some great pictures at the West Coast Game Park. Oh my goodness it was so great. It totally wasn't for Jacob it was for me. It was so funny, before we went in, Mark leans over to Jacob and says, "Now you watch her face when she gets in there and you will understand how much she loves animals." So we walk in and Jacob's mouth drops and he says to Mark, "wow dad I always though she was just talking big when she talked about bringing all these animals home with her, but she is serious isn't she? She would really have all the animals she could bring home huh?" Set Mark into belly rolling laughter. Oh I just had so much fun. I got some great pictures too, but I haven't had the time to get them on the computer. So I will have to do that some time tomorrow and put some on here. They are great.
Friday Susan and I are taking the kids to Discovery Village. Get them wound up and tuckered out. Mark's dad comes into town on Friday evening, so we will have to go see him. Not sure if his step mom is coming this time or not. He has yet again more doctors appointments. Poor guy.
I love Craigs list. I have gotten rid of so much stuff from using that website. Today I sold a camcorder. Have had it for years and years and have used it twice maybe three times. Just silly. I am so tired of junk! I am on a clutter killing spree.

just a little grip

2007-08-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, just two weeks after I got called for Jury duty, and after them telling me that they can't call me again for 2 years, two weeks later they called me again. That is wrong with this picture. Mark and Memory have NEVER been called, and I am getting harrassed by them to go. HOW RUDE!

hardly surviving

2007-08-10T18:47:00.000-07:00

So we are on our family's little outing. Man do I ever want to crawl into a cave with no light, no sound, no anything!!!!! I have finally found one of my migraine triggers. Strong scents. Maybe not all of them but there you go. Mark bought some insense the other week and left them in his car. We got in it to leave today and it was an almost instant migraine. By the time we got half way to our first destination I was feeling so sick that I had to pull over a few times because I thought I was going to throw up. Of course it has just gotten worse from there. Going to Oregon Coast Aquarium really didn't help at all. So here we are sitting at dads house with a terribly bored 7 year old, a 37 year old passed out on the futon and me wanting to go nuts because Mark wont wake up and take Jacob to Wal-mart to get a new movie so he can watch something. So I am going nuts because everything is getting out of hand waiting for Mark to get up. How that man can sleep so much and with so much noise is totally beyond me.
I must say though, we h ad a great time at Oregon Coast Aquarium. Jacob held my hand almost the whole time. He clung to me like cling wrap. Mark was pretty amazed by it too. Tomorrow should be interesting to see what happens. Tomorrow we are going down to West Coast Game Park Safari. I am way excited. I can't wait to see all those animals. Mark is scared that I am going to try and take them home. He is very worried about the Blank Panther.
So I am going to try to wake up the old man and try to get them to go out to find a movie.

Emotionally Drained

2007-07-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

Oh it has been a very long week. My poor emotions are at their fragile end. Mark broke the window in his car trying to take it out to tint it. So he is driving my car. Well my car has something wrong with the brakes. I noticed that the brake light was coming on when I engaged the brakes, but didn't know what it meant. Well come to find out it means one of the pistons in the Master Cylinder going to the back brakes. So because of that it cuts off all power to the back brakes and only uses the front ones. NOT GOOD! So we have to fix that and also get the new window in Marks car before he can drive it. Why can't it just be one thing at a time?
Jacob is going to his mother's for two weeks on friday. Sad to say, but I am in some major need of time off. I love my little booger, I just can't handle the constant negativity about everything all day long every day. Which is why I am emotionally drained.
I am so excited. Harry Potter is coming out Saturday morning. I got my copy reserved and have to pick it up somewhere between Midnight and the end of business day Saturday in order to have it waiting for me. I know Brandon that you didn't like them, but I do. :P
We got a new alarm system put in. Started it on Friday and they finished it yesterday. I love it. It is so much better than our other one. Everytime the front and door to the garage are open it will tell me, and I have a little key chain thing like mom's. I can actually use it when Mark is at work. Our old one I couldn't. If you turned it on for staying at home, if you opened a door the alarm would just go off automaticely. So I never got to use it when I am home alone. Now I do and I feel a lot safer.... we all I know some major night and dark issues so hopefully this will help in that department. I just hope that the kitty cat doesn't set it off... it is suppose to be 40 pounds or over but we see how that worked with moms. I am very excited... I have to watch the darn dvd to figure out how to use it though.
Oh I had jury duty.... boy was that a waste of time. I don't know why but they never ever pick me. When I went in Washington County they didn't pick me, and they read my questioneer and said I could go home. I was there from 7:30 in the morning till 10 in the morning. That is how long it takes just to get that far... silly. So I am good for the next two years unless I want to do it.
Anyway I have got to go destress somehow.

Another day gone

2007-07-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Man do I look ugly! I look like a snake shedding it's skin. Gross. That is what I get for getting sunburned I guess.
Great news. Jacobs front teeth are loose hehehehee. I am so excited. We have been bugging everyday to wiggle them. I am bound and determined that i get to rip one out with the string on a door. He likes that idea too. We were going to do that with his first tooth that he lost. Got the string on and everything and he tugged on it just to make sure the string wasn't going to come off the tooth and out popped the tooth. Broke my heart. Thank you Grandpa for warping me :)
I got more stuff on Craigslist today. Man am I on a getting rid of stuff spree. I am so tired to having stuff just laying around. Today I spent hours shreading papers that have been sitting in paperbags down stairs waiting for someone to do something with them. So I did it today. Oh my goodness I filled 5 paperbags with shreaded paper. And that was after stomping on it to make it fit more. The shreader finally had it with me and stopped working for a few hours because it just got used to much. I have tons of stuff I want to take to goodwill. Just need to figure out if other people are taking some stuff so I can take those if they don't. It feels so good to get it out of the way. A few weeks ago I made Mark go downstairs with me and go through some of his stuff that he hasn't seen for 15 years. 4 boxes got dwendled down to a shoebox. It just made me want to cry. I love doing this for other people but it makes me so sad to think that I am one of those people that has so much stuff that isn't used. Other people need it more than I do and I have it sitting here collecting dust doing nothing. I wonder when I let myself become this way and why I didn't notice.
Oh well I better get some sleep. Jacob is bound and determinded to have Victoria spend the night tomorrow. I don't think i am prepared for that just yet. But he really wants her to, or him over there, and he is trying to negociate with anything he can to get it to happen tomorrow. Sadly I will give in if I get enough sleep. Those two are so darn cute together. Earlier today they were watching Animaniacs sitting on the floor of the livingroom with Victoria in front of Jacob leaning against him and Jacob with his arms around her. Hmmmm, maybe I should be scared, but it was so darn cute.

2007-07-09T21:47:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while. I had a kidney infection which is what kept me from writing. Not very pleasant.
Mark and I went camping this last weekend. It was so gorgeous. It is a river called Breitenbush River out east by Detroit Lake. It was wonderful. The water was clear and clean. Lots of masqitoes though. Speaking of which did you know that only the female masquitoes drink your blood. Interesting isn't it. Anyway, our camping spot was great. Long way from other camping spots and away from the road. Our new tent did great. Kept all the little creapy crawlies out. It is soooo big. I love it. It can be turned into 3 rooms. It is great. It is so easy to put up that one person can do it too. That is very helpful! I got to see a black bear that was crossing a very unpleasant dirt road. He was so cute. It is amazing they can run so fast when they look so clutzy running.
Mark and I didn't do anything for the 4th. Just stayed at home and hosed off the house and lawn.
We got Susan all moved a few weeks ago. Happy to have that done. I love the new place. Can't say I did much though. I mostly took care of the kids. We had a few very bad times though. Jacob almost drowned. I decided to take the kids swimming to get them out of everyone's way. I told Jacob that he needed to stay in the shallow end and showed him where he can't go past. Well he thinks he can swim, just because he can move himself while touching the bottom of the pool. So he thought he would not listen because he knew what he was doing and jumped into the deep end. Lets just say that made for some very unhappy people because I wouldn't let him back in after that. So I left the kids with Mark and went with Susan to go work on the old apartment. It was a great break.
Jacob went to his mothers for the 4th. He will be coming back this wednesday the 11th. He went to his grandmothers after his moms. So I gotta figure out fun stuff to do.

Sorry Memory

2007-06-25T23:39:00.000-07:00

So to answer Memory's question. What did I get for my birthday. I got the new God of War 2 playstation game. I know none of you would like it but you all would be amazed at the graffics on this thing. It is stunning and just amazing! Oh yeah and I got a new purse. Susan got me a military type game. hehehehe she knows me well! So there you go Mem, that is what I got.

Birthday fun/and sickness

2007-06-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

Well the last few days have not been to fun for me. As most people know I have a kidney infection. My back is in so much pain because of it that most of the time it hurts just to breath. The antibiotics are just killing me. They make my stomach feel like something is sitting there twisting it in opposite directions. I unfortunatly believe that I am going to have to get on the medication more than a week. I am not looking forward to that if that be the case. My temp is getting dangerously close to having to go to the hospital. I have to give Mark hourly updates because he is so worried. I have to go to the hospital if it reaches 100 degrees. I just checked it and it was at 99.6 degrees. It is just sitting there trying to tease me.
To make me feel worse I feel just aweful watching kids when I am like this. I'm in so much pain and so sick from the medication that I have no patience for most of their challenges. I would seriously like to go find a very dark quiet cave where I can crawl into a little ball and escape reality until I feel better. Not going to happen but it is such a lovely thought.
So anyway on a happier note. Dad, Mark said you would be so proud of him for what he did yesterday. So the boys came home from camping. Got everything put away and we decided to go out to dinner for my birthday. Mark suggested the Roadhouse. I was craving cow so sounded great to me. But I knew he was up to something because of the look on his face but for the life of me I couldn't figure it out. So we get there, and those to boys of mine were sitting there wispering to each other. So when our waitress comes up to ask if we want dessert or anything Jacob bursts out that it is my birthday. Than it hit me where we were and what they do to you. They get all of the waiters and waitresses, put a toilet seat cover around your neck and a coffee filter on your head, they yell for everyones attention in the resturant and than sing to you. So embarrassing. Granted it didn't beat the Who song and Larry's on, but I don't think anything could do that. Mark was so proud of himself and Jacob was so excited that he got to be a part of it and embarress me. Although he was scared that he wouldn't get his surprise that I got him while he was gone camping. Silly boy. All in all, a nice birthday. Didn't do much except for go a few places with Susan when she came over and dinner. That was it. The rest of the time I was lazy because I didn't want to move and bring pain to me.
So all be proud of Mark that he got me. We had gone there a few months ago and it was someones birthday. He at that time threatened to take me there for it and I totally forgot. I don't think I will be doing that one again.

What a day

2007-06-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

Wow talk about hot out. Although it wasn't to bad if you weren't out in it. I took Jacob to the park today because he wanted to go play baseball. Of course we silly little ones went at the top heat of the day. Smart move I tell you. We both could only stand to play for about half an hour. I don't know what he was complaining about. I was the one having to go retreive his balls when he hit them a long way. It amazes me how great he is at baseball. With a little help and discipline he would make a great one. He can hit those balls so far. His only down fall is getting frusterated after missing a couple hits. I really hope he plays in school when he gets older. I think it would be a great outlet for him.
Yesterday he fell off of his Razor and took all the skin off of his knee. Today he fell off of his skateboard and took all the skin off of his elbow. He bruised it pretty badly too. It is still swollen and icky looking. I told him I am going to have to get a membership with the local hospital so everytime he hurts himself he can just go have new skin made for whatever he hurt. He thought that was funny and made him stop crying.
Camping is more than likely going to be canceled for the weekend. It is suppose to rain, which the last time they went it ended up raining and wasn't fun for either one of them. That is alright. Susan said she would watch him so we can go out to dinner or something. Very nice of Susan. THANK YOU! I already got my birthday presants. :) Silly me couldn't wait for them. Sometimes I have no patience.
So in short today was a good day with Jacob. We had fun, did lots of fun stuff and only had 2 meltdowns. It was the best we have had so far and it has only been 4 days since we picked him up. Today helped my blood pressure level go down. Very good for me.
So now I am going to go play my birthday presant.

Jacob's hair

2007-06-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

Mark is very proud of the job he did on Jacob's hair. I just found the picture so I thought I would share it. I don't like it than again I don't like mohawks on anyone children more so. I have to admit one this, that kid has a great shaped head! One of the pictures is with Jacob and his first fish. He caught it, and wasn't happy that it was to small and he had to throw it back. But he was pretty proud of himself that he caught it all on his own.

Day after Father's Day

2007-06-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well it is the beginning of the summer. Which means we have Jacob. Yeah! We barely got through yesterday in tact. Unfortunatly Daddies day was pretty much ruined within the first couple hours of being up. Some of it was salvaged. We went over to Mark's brother's house to have dinner and play games with his dad, stepmom, and grandparents. His father had to come back to town to have some more tests run from when he had something wrong with his spinal cord. In the end we had a very good time there and Jacob did very well. We were pleased.
I am getting them ready to go camping this weekend so I can have a quiet birthday weekend. Well some what quiet since I am going to go out with Susan. It should be nice though. I am looking forward to it. The summers are very difficult with all the changing and everything Jacob has to go through. Never a fun thing for any of us.
We are planning on a family outing the weekend before the 4th of July. We are hoping it will give him something to look farward to.
Well I have to get dinner going and feed mister hungry. I will have to take pictures on our family outing and get them on here for everyone.